You all need to be scared. The world will end in 2012.

Posted in 1 on June 17, 2009 by Korynn

OKAY SO I’m pretty much the least religious person ever blablabla. I don’t subscribe to any Jesus theory or whatever. And I always readily dismissed everyone screaming about “OOOH THE WORLD’S GONNA END IN 2012 BECAUSE THE CALENDAR EXPLODES” or something…honestly, why are we leaving it up to the Mayans to think that far ahead?! But I was online shopping and this came up:

http://www.military.com/news?ESRC=vc_news.op&np=1

“North Korea’s missiles could hit the United States in as few as three years if the rogue nation continues to ramp up its weapons system, Pentagon officials said. Deputy Defense Secretary William Lynn agreed with Sen. John McCain that the U.S. should be prepared for a ‘worst-case scenario’.”

A worst-case scenario.

In three years.

It’s 2009.

In three years? That makes 2012.

We’re fucked.

God, I hate myself for using this image.

God, I hate myself for using this image.

Vicodin Cocktail

Posted in 1 on May 27, 2009 by Korynn

Firstly,

I AM A GIANT PILE OF VIBRATORS!

Can you vibrate as much as a sex toy?

Created by Sex Toys.org

Ah. I’m all dizzy and drunk and confused cos of me Vicodin perscription. I got me teefs out, it hurts a lot, I keep finding sutures in my food and I think I might have a dry socket (although Jeff assures me no).

I shall post my anesthesia-filled videos later. I still kinda slur my speech cos of the meds O_o

Desperation time.

Posted in 1 on May 23, 2009 by Korynn

I will fuck anyone who gets me these boots.

That is all.

*prays Johnny Depp gets me those boots*

Wisdom Teeth Idol (warning: super bitter)

Posted in Dumb crap. on May 22, 2009 by Korynn

FIRST, skim over these:

American Idol reaction videos.

Thank you. Now we may begin.

Okay, I don’t give two shits about American Idol. I really don’t. I think we all know that even if you win, there’s a damn good chance you’ll never be heard from again (Can you name the last three winners? No. You can’t.). Even with my infatuation with Simon Cowell, I just can’t summon the interest to watch American Idol at all past the first couple of auditions, especially now that they made that retarded change which basically exed out all the dumb auditions and they only showed the good ones BLABLABLA ANYWAY.

I have come to a conclusion after last night’s results and people being so upset.

Adam Lambert fans are fucking retarded. That’s all. They’re just fucking stupid. STUPID. Stupid little tweenage teenyboppers who just barely tore themselves away from Twilight and the Jonas Brothers long enough to pore over Adam Lambert’s douchey emo hair.

Yeah Id say that pretty much covers it.

Yeah I'd say that pretty much covers it.

America is getting dumber. 8 years of Bush’ll do that.

Thanks guys.

Thanks.

(I think I’m just pissed off because I can’t eat/drink anything and I’m REALLY thirsty…. I’m having my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow and I’m scared shitless. AND I have tonsilitis. What the FUCK. Anyway. It’s 4 AM and I get up at 7:30 sooo…I’m gonna go to bed. Pictures and prolly video for the internetz. Lolz.)

This came from a website called Smile Dental.

This came from a website called "Smile Dental."

I have stupid-ass dreams. (Edit: Now with improved, gay Hugh Jackman)

Posted in Dumb crap. with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2009 by Korynn

(Some of my captions don’t work. You should all yell at WordPress because you’re really missing out on my utterly genius sense of wit.)

It’s 2 AM on a school night, and that means I’m about to go to bed. Which reminded me, I have CRAZY ASS dreams. Ass dreams. Ass cream. Yes, I would love some chocolate ass cream. Maybe later.

/austin powers

ANYWAY Here’s a list of my top six (that’s right, one better than “Top Five,” bitches) craziest in descending order of recent..ness. I don’t know why I can’t remember them all, because usually I can. It could have something to do with the fact it’s now 2:30 AM.

Corinne and Kaitlyn, if you remember any stupid dreams I’ve told you, kindly alert me.

HERE WE GO

6. I have a bowl of clam soup. Like, not chunks of clam. Whole, snapping clams, jumping up at me and biting. Then they jump into my strawberry milkshake. I was really really upset. I wanted that shake (which I don’t even like IRL). Cut to Simon Cowell flapping his arms and making eagle noises at a fur-trimmed boot full of baby birds.

QUIT MESSING WITH ME, CLAM BASTARD

5. I was watching CATS. Then Michael Jackson proceeded to run up onstage naked, just dancing away like that was completely normal. All the Cats looked wide-eyed at his crotch and then proceeded to dance normally.

This took MUCH longer than it looks like it did.

This took MUCH longer than it looks like it did.

Figures, the one time I get him naked in a dream and he’s doing something completely retarded. Something completely retarded that isn’t me.

4. I made sushi for the cast of Three’s Company. But OH NO! MY STICKY RICE WOULD NOT BECOME STICKY! So eventually I just gave up and handed them rice with dead fish on it. GOD was that frustrating.

Insert comedic misunderstanding here.

Insert comedic misunderstanding here.

I don’t even know if it was Terri…it could have been Chrissy. But I’ll tell you what, it was NOT Cindy.

3. We’ve been having people constantly drop out of our drama club, along with several other major issues which are inhibiting our production. Maybe that’s why the night I saw X Men Origins: Wolverine, I had a dream Hugh Jackman joined our drama club and took my place as a flaming gay man. He danced with us, too. Then he stabbed me with his claws.

IDK. I searched for "Awkward Wolverine" and this is what I got.

IDK. I searched for "Awkward Wolverine" and this is what I got.

EDIT: Here’s a better fitting picture…

128746601214302207

2. You know Charlie from Two and a Half Men? Yeeeah. Well he curled up in my lap and slept and we did awkward newly-made-boyfriend-girlfriend hair playing stuff. Then Martin Sheen walked in and yelled at us so we turned into ants and skittered away.

This will be used again in a future post. Of this I am sure.

I have no idea why, as I’m not even remotely attracted to that man. Alan is *SO* much cuter.

1. Last night, Paul Reubens slapped me. Hard. In the face. And I liked it.

*perk?*

*perk?*

Although really, if he looked like that, he could do anything he wanted to my face (tell me he’s not really, really attractive there I dare ya.)

Oh wait….except maybe squish a bug on it, but that’s negotiable.

SEACREST, OUT

DUMB things that happened today.

Posted in 1 on May 4, 2009 by Korynn

First of all, I shall go into greater detail about the events of the weekend later.

SECOND, I found a comment on the internet (I forgot which site…something dumb like I-Am-Bored or DeviantArt) that went PRECISELY AS FOLLOWS (poor sentence construction is NOT my fault):

“I like Hugh Jackman as Wolverine, but I saw one movie he was in once and his Australian accent is terrible.”

…wait…

You’re kidding, right? You know he’s…Australian? Right?

Is everyone clear on this?

Everyone clear on the fact Hugh Jackman is Australian?

As well as just...cocking sexy.

As well as just...cocking sexy.

Also…When you write stuff on the Internet? It can be seen by EVERYONE. I mean seriously…

EVERYONE.

Remember the JCS post? Yeah. I guess I kinda miffed Mark Baratelli. He found the post and…er…post..ed about it. I feel all awkward and weird and sort of guilty. XD This is the kind of stupid thing that happens to me.

Oh well. Hopefully you all stopped at that kinda great picture of Wolverine up thar.

I CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE GODDAMMIT

Jesus Christ Superstar and the Case of the Twitchy Mouth

Posted in EXCITING STUFF :O on April 15, 2009 by Korynn

A while ago, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to see Jesus Christ Superstar. Now, I really REALLY love theatre, and theatre is what I plan to do with the rest of my life. So I wasn’t about to say no.

Especially if the tickets were free, given to him by a techie on the show.

Tonight we went to go see it–he (who I don’t name here because IDK if he’s okay with that…O_o), Jeff (Remember “Helpful Friend?”) and I–at my home-away-from-home, the Providence Performing Arts Center. It is absolutely the most beautiful theatre I’ve ever been in and likely the only good thing Rhode Island has.

(BESIDES ME THAT IS LOLOOLZORZ kidding.)

PPAC....PIC DUZ NOT DEW JUSTICE O_O

PPAC....PIC DUZ NOT DEW JUSTICE O_O

We ended up getting AWESOME seats (orchestra section, like 9 rows back IF that), and the show was amazing. Of course, it starred Ted Neeley (original Jeebus from movie), who gave an excellent performance, including his high note in Gethsamane which was so clear and pure and perfect (I distinctly remember thinking HOLY SHIT MAN, YOU GO! WHOO!), and I could not have asked for a better performance from everyone, really. Ted was awesome, but the chorus was SO good, too. Best show chorus I’ve ever seen I think. And the Judas (who I THINK was Louis Pardo) was REALLY good. I liked movie-Judas, but Louis Pardo was truly a theater Judas in his clarity of voice. And his acting was brilliant, I definitely welled up when he clutched Jesus, crying, just before his betrayal.

Judas ( I think. Lol.), only he had a beard. O_o

Judas ( I think. Lol.), only he had a beard. O_o

And goddammit, KUDOS to the lighting guy! The lights totally made the show. Totally, totally, totally. They were really really impressive, I can’t even tell you. O_O Jesus ACTUALLY looked like he was radiating this pure light. There were blood red lights for scenes with the….IDK whatever crazy group Ciaphus was part of lolo…which were intimidating, powerful strobes for Jesus’s rage in the temple (/marketplace [I’m not familiar with the song titles yet so…bear wiff me]), and the stars at night were just gorgeous. I definitely could have slept on that stage. XD BUT THE LEPERS, OH MY GOD. As they disappeared, this BLINDING light raised up and BEAMED in everyone’s eyes and it…like, shriveled my eyeballs. It hurt. BUT ART IS PAIN

Anyway.

My ONLY GRIPE was in Herod, played by Mark Baratelli as a FLAMING gay man, which was HILARIOUS, believe me. I was in tears. But I feel like he wasn’t paying enough attention to his lines–he was going more for comedy rather than truly emoting what he was saying, and some of the understanding of the song was lost. It was almost like he was on autopilot (or autoPilate lololo lame joke.)

Wicked funny, but didnt feel his part, really. :P

Wicked funny, but didn't feel his part, really. :P

OH, AND THERE WAS A PRETTY EPIC ALMOST-BOOB SLIP DURING “SUPERSTAR” (the end song) WHICH NO ONE CAUGHT BUT ME. I was getting real nervous that thing was gonna come flying out. But it didn’t and I had no need to ph33r.

Understand I wasn’t very familiar with the show before…I saw the movie with Jeff (haha Ted was hawt in that movie, I’ll not lie XD) and liked it but other than that I was like um…Christianity, no thanks. But I loved the show, and taking it as just another fictional story it was very powerful and impressive.

Movie-Jesus. You know, for proof.

Movie-Jesus. You know, for proof.

I TOTALLY cried during Jesus’s (spoiler!) crucifixion, where his death scene was prolonged–not really dragged out, but it was extended–and the final gasps of breath were heard amidst ominous sounds of wind and subtle moaning as Jesus writhed in pain, trying to pry his hands from the boards, and it REALLY hammered home the thoughts and emotions that went with “this guy is dying, and for what? He’s up on a cross, suspended only by nails driven into his flesh, and he is in pain, and he is dying.” It REALLY forced you to think about it.

So yeah, I cried. And you know what, I cried during the Lion King too when Mufasa died (the show AND the movie, thx), so shut up.

After the show, we waited around for a bit to meet Ted Neeley, who was incredibly kind and gracious and hugged people like crazy. The Unnamed Friend said to me, as Ted was talking to Jeff, “So you haven’t really said anything yet.” And I said “I’m very stoic.” Ted then looked at me and said “What a great word, stoic.” So after that when it was my turn to get stuff (my ticket & program) signed, because I’m SO AWKWARD, I immediately became flustered and just BABBLED like an idiot. I don’t even remember what I said, something like “So…hi…and um…aaah yeah. I don’t…I’m very flustered *insert arm flapping here* and I don’t kno…aaaagh” and completely embarrassed myself for a few very awkward moments when eventually he just looked at me and held his arms out. I was inwardly like “wow, thank God, or that would’ve continued.” As I went over for obligatory hugginz (Dude’s a good hugger. He better be, after how much practice he gets XD) from the original Jesus, he talked to me softly again about how the stoic ones were deepest, and the people who do most of the talking are too busy talking to learn anything (paraphrasing, lol). He was really very noble and wise, as I assume 35 years of being Jesus makes you. OH And he liked the spelling of my name! :DDD Hooray! (/easily delighted)

Complete relief of idiot-babble by Ted Neely. Thanks for tolerating me, kind sir.

Complete relief of idiot-babble by Ted Neeley. Thanks for tolerating me, kind sir.

AND THEN IT HAPPENED.

I was grinning like an idiot, but I tried to control myself and STOP.

Well that was a BAD MOVE. Because my nervous, socially awkward body translated that into SEVERE mouth twitchery. Like really. My lips were Riverdancing like the freaking DICKENS. I couldn’t stop. I just couldn’t. So I bit my lip. That was no help. So this guy is talking to me, saying incredibly deep stuff, and I can’t even stop my TWITCHING for TWO GODDAMN (lol) SECONDS.

I searched for twitchy mouth on Google Images and this was the first thing I got. ITS A SIGN

I searched for "twitchy mouth" on Google Images and this was the first thing I got. ITS A SIGN

Besides all that, it was an all-over awesome experience. It was sooo cool, and I’m glad to not only have witnessed such a performance but to have met such a respected and admired actor. Even if my mouth was Riverdancing.

HEY, SOMEBODY WROTE ON MY---oh okay.

HEY, SOMEBODY WROTE ON MY---oh okay.


(We took other pics but the other people with me were in them so I shall not post them until I receive their permission :P)

Whoo, dat was a long post. Worthy of the experience :P And now it is 5:20 AM so I’ma go on ter bed nao :D

Old guy in the middle pulled his pants down at one point during our line-waitery. True.

Old guy in the middle pulled his pants down at one point during our line-waitery. True.

ADVENTURE TO GERMANY pt 1

Posted in Life, maaaan., Mischief Managed! with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 14, 2009 by Korynn
Doesnt get much sexier than this, in this old girls opinion.

Doesn't get much sexier than this, in this old girl's opinion.

First, let it be known that I am NOT a bad kid. I have NEVER touched alcohol, cigarettes or other drugs and have never been arrested. I’ve gotten detention a bunch but that’s pretty much it. So it’s time for some mischief.

I’m turning 18 this May. I’m going to college next year. I will never have fun again.

So I’m using the time between my legal-becoming-of-age and college goin’s and fucking going crazy. Seriously. I’ve committed myself to at least one movie-style teen adventure before I have to start being all ‘responsible’ and shit.

Tanz der Vampire is one of the greatest-ever musicals based on Roman Polanski’s 1967 The Fearless Vampire Killers. Only its better, cos its a musical. I’m obsessed. So is my friend Corinne.

Aaaaaa Von Krolock, fick mich O_O!!!

Aaaaaa Von Krolock, fick mich O_O!!!

This show ends in 2010. 2010, PEOPLE! I don’t have time to wait around! I have to go see it now, if ever! I will not be satisfied with YouTube videos, I have to make my vampiric pilgrimage….

And that’s how it started.

We’re going to Germany. And we’re not telling anyone but ourselves and the lad who’s covering for us.

I’m telling my parents I’m vacationing with him, and Corinne is telling hers that…well, she’s going to Deutschland.  The catch is she said my parents were coming. They’re not.

The plan:

$200 ticket to Tanz

$500 ticket to somewhere near Oberhausen

$100 Passport

$hotel monies.

I’ll use some birthday money, art commissions,  and maybe a job and/or whoring (only half kidding). Idk wtf she’s gonna do. But we’re doing it. This is our last adventure.

I’ll say I’m vacationing with Helpful Friend, whose house my parents will drive me to, and from there somehow Corinne and I will go to the airport. From there we go to Germany, and spend three days: One to arrive, one for the show, one to leave, and while there we plan on visiting a vampire club or two to get in the mood.

We’re learning German right now. Although its much the same way as Anime fans learn Japanese (DATTEBAYOU! *slap*), its pretty effective. Dictionaries help. So does the internet.

So we’re planning all this out now. I don’t know how we’re going to do it, but I firmly believe we will. I will NOT let this die. I’ll keep y’all posted. I hope my parents don’t find this blog; they still dunno about my YouTube account (or my XTube account but you know whatever). Wish us luck :P

LOLOLO WARHEIT LOLOLO

LOLOLO WARHEIT LOLOLO

OKAY SO LIKE I STARTED A BLAWG

Posted in Life, maaaan. with tags , , , , , on April 13, 2009 by Korynn

Ha. Okay. So I started a blog. Am I interesting enough to have a blog? I dunno.  My cat seems to think I am. (/stereotypical blog line)

So here I shall put the things I can’t just insert into a discussion, or talk about over AIM or whatever. A lot of this is/will be self-discovery or venting. Maybe it will be interesting enough for some of you to witness the thoughts of an 18 year old. But I’m not even the typical “WHOO LETS GO GIT DRUNK OMG MYSPACE OMG MY BOYFRIEND LEFT ME WAAAH OMG ZAC EFRON OMG TWILIGHT IS THE ONLY BOOK I’VE EVER READ OMG PARTYPARTYPARTY OMG TOO LOUD MUSIC” teenager so I dunno what to tell you to expect. XD

I know I think a lot of wierd shit. And I’m too mature for my own good I think…in fact, several of my good friends—WELLLLLLL let’s face it, I’ve got three close friends who are essentially three out of maybe 10 people not related to me that I talk to EVER, and a good chunk of those 10 are the basis for the above description of the typical teen. So maturity is…I don’t know, frustrating? for me because I walk around school thinking “everyone here is an idiot, I hate kids” and I can’t talk to adults because they immediately think “well she’s a teenager she can’t possibly know what I know. BECAUSE I’M OLDER AND THAT AUTOMATICALLY MEANS I’M SMARTER. ALSO I WENT TO COLLEGE” as if that means anything anymore. I’m not saying I know everything, I’m just saying. Take me seriously. I know a lot for a kid. A LOT.

ARGH see? See what I mean? About the…the venting…bla stuff? Yeha…Yeehaw? No, I meant ‘Yeah.’

ANYWAY uh…My writing style is very Jekyll/Hyde in that I go from eloquent and thoughtful and occasionally depressed to WHOO CRAZY CRAZY WHACKJOB.

So think, like, I dunno.” Edgar Allen Poe to lolcat.”

Just the kind of top-o-the-line literature yew can expect from me.

Just the kind of top-o-the-line literature yew can expect from me.

And sometimes in the same post. Like in this one.

(and no I’m not saying Edgar Allen Poe to be cool like the emo/fake goth kids at my school. I actually don’t particularly care for his writing. That was just the most fitting example. So SHUH UP.)

K my bladder’s liek omg go pee. So I was liek k bladder I go pee nao. Then I typed this sentence and further delayed my bathroom usage.

JOSEI YO NO OTEARAI

(ladies bathroom in Japanese. I BE LERNIN, I BE LERNIN! And it’s going faster than my German. I BE GERMAN, I BE GERMAN!)

/idiot

…okay bai for real nao.